Tales in a Jugular Vein

Principal Featherhead takes aim at the negative influence comic books have over kids, just as Jughead is tasked by Pep Comics to write four tales for a new issue – IMDb

Episode 5 of Riverdales’ seventh season was my favourite so far. I always loved the series, but watching four comic book inspired horror tales that take place in Riverdale with the usual cast was new and refreshing for this show. Granted, it always had a bit of a horror and comic book vibe, but this one took it a step further.

You get thrown back in time, the 1950’s, when the violent and sexual content in comic books caused an uproar which led to the creation of The Comics Code Authority to censor comics. A real life event portrayed in the TV-show. I remember, as a little girl, stumbling upon boxes filled with my uncles’ horror comics from the 50’s era in my grandmothers’ attic. People thought I had disappeared while I was just sitting on the attic floor, devouring one book after another. My mum didn’t approve, and like all that is forbidden, it’s what you want the most. Needless to say that horror comics were the most popular at that time.

Watching these four tales in a candlelit room while rain was tapping on the window, gave me serious Halloween vibes. Only things missing were the jack o’ lanterns and our traditional pumpkin oven pasta. Hopefully there will be some more episodes of this quality, even though this is the last and final season of Archie and his gang.

Things Heard & Seen

An artist relocates to the Hudson Valley and begins to suspect that her marriage has a sinister darkness, one that rivals her new home’s history. (IMDB)

The worst part about the movie are the reviews. Have people lost the ability to be entertained or have they just become movie snobs? Sure, this is neither an horror movie, neither a pure thriller and I guess that the fans of these two genres may have transposed their purist disappointment in their harsh critics. However, if you don’t mind watching a movie that belongs to the “thriller with supernatural elements” category, I’m sure that you’ll enjoy Things Heard & Seen.

Throughout the movie, a sympathy is build for Catherine (Amanda Seyfried), who lives with a husband who not only doesn’t love her but is actually a real jerk. That sympathy is what keeps the tension up during the movie. Part of me didn’t want anything bad to happen to her, and the other part wanted her husband to be punished for treating her the way he does. The supernatural elements help keeping the movie from turning too dramatic.

Overall, Things Heard & Seen is a pretty good supernatural thriller with a 70s vibe. A nice fit for a rainy Saturday evening.

All Hallow’s Eve (2013)

The All Hallow’s Eve series introduce the psychotic ART the clown from the Terrifier movies. Being a fan of the Terrifier franchise, I had high hopes for All Hallow’s Eve. Truth be told, it was very bad. I don’t mind amateurism in horror, I think that sometimes it adds to the vibe of the movie (especially in the found footage genre), but amateurism apart, it is unwatchable. Slasher movies rarely make me nod off, but this one was a 83 minute long battle against sleep.

While some actors did a better job, others had the charisma of a wood stick. Not one you could take a liking to. The storyline is a big bag of “I don’t know where I’m going with this”. I’ve read on IMDb that “the alien in the second story was originally going to be a puppet, but when the puppet didn’t work, it was replaced by a man in a suit instead”. I can tell you, it looked like a dude in a very poor quality Halloween costume. For a slasher this is pretty bad.

I will not watch the other two All Hallow’s Eve movies, and most certainly not recommend watching this to anyone.

The Nun 2

1956 – France. A priest is murdered. An evil is spreading. Sister Irene as she once again comes face-to-face with Valak, the demon nun.(IMDB)

I’m not gonna lie, I love evil nuns. BUT, I love them sexy (and a bit slutty). I sometimes wish that it was Taissa Farmiga who portrayed a bad, bad, nun 😉 However, she wouldn’t be as creepy as Bonnie Aarons and my version wouldn’t belong in the horror category.

However, I don’t think that we get to see the Nun enough. I understand that they wanted to create a huge build up but it led to many unnecessary dramatic scenes.

It is still a solid entry in the series and probably a necessary foundation to the story of the franchise. I just expected it to be more than a long and slow story sparkled with a few jump scares.

Spiral: From the Book of Saw

A man is strung up by his tongue in a subway tunnel. That man is a police detective with a lengthy record of perjury allegations. Will he cut out the tongue that wrongly put innocent people in prison, or is it now him who will be railroaded?

We watched the movie to get our sadistic gore fix, like the ones we’re used to get from a Saw movie, however we also received a story, and a good one.

If you’re seeking the classic Saw experience, you will get it. Blood is spilled, fingers are cut off, and skin gets peeled away. But you will get more than gruesome special effects. Spiral is a thriller laced with copious amounts of gore and the result is good, so good that it made me forget how much I don’t like Chris Rock.

Saw X

Warning: this movie sucks your eyes into the screen

A sick and desperate John travels to Mexico for a risky and experimental medical procedure in hopes of a miracle cure for his cancer only to discover the entire operation is a scam to defraud the most vulnerable. (source: IMDB)

Some people wanted more than just a gruesome movie… I did not. I’m not especially interested in John Kramer’s dramatic story, I just want to see poor fucks being thought a lesson in the most possible brutal and sadistic way. I’m not sick (well, not really), I’m just a dude who likes to get what he pays for. If I buy horror, I like to get it. If I would buy drama (which will never happen, not in a million year), that’s what I’d like to get. The only mix I enjoy is stracciattella ice cream, because it’s delicious. However don’t sprinkle my horror with your sob dramatic stories!

I didn’t have a bad evening watching the movie, I was just disappointed not to have another classic Saw. While I understand that the franchise needed a breath of fresh life and a prequel with a (more) solid plot was a good idea, I found it often more draggy than ruthless.

Talk To Me

When a group of friends discover how to conjure spirits using an embalmed hand, they become hooked on the new thrill, until one of them goes too far and unleashes terrifying supernatural forces. (IMDB)

Of all the movies we had in stock, we didn’t think that this one would be good enough for our end of the year holidays. I think that the trailer suggested more psychological stuff than real horror, and you know how much we hate fake horror movies… However, the movie is actually great. It’s so rare to see a movie with a fresh new concept succeed in being different and creepy.

The idea to use an embalmed hand to conjure spirits isn’t the only original thing about the movie… I thought that the casting was also very different from the usual teens that we normally get to see in such a movie. Btw, the movie was banned in Kuwait due to the appearance of trans actor Zoe Terakes. Well, who cares about Kuwait anyway?

Sick

Due to the pandemic, Parker and her best friend decide to quarantine at the family lake house alone – or so they think. (IMDB)

Honestly, I thought that the movie we would get after the pandemic would have been a catastrophe flick with The Rock as a scientist who’s saving the world by single-handedly creating the vaccine and dodging evil Chinese spies while jumping from a rooftop to an helicopter and punching an alligator in the face.

Instead, what we got is a slasher movie happening during the pandemic. Well, I’m not disappointed! It’s a good slasher without drama, there’s even a plot twist. Also, it is shot in a dream house.

So, once again, I must thank Covid-19… Not only has it brought us the most interesting year of the last 2 decades and promoted home working while making my inner introvert very happy, but it has also, years later, inspired a not-bad-at-all slasher.

Lego Hogwarts

LEGO 71043

It took us the length of the 7 Harry Potter movies, the last Fantastic Beasts (which is as bad as the 2 first), Moana and almost Lightyear (20 minutes left) to complete the build. It was probably the most entertaining mega build that we’ve done so far. If the castle was lighter, I would turn it to show the detail of the many rooms that are included. From Dumbledore’s office to the giant chess board from the Philosopher’s Stone, the attention to details is incredible.

No Exit

We watched this movie during the end of the year holidays and I wish that there would have been snow here in Brussels. Unfortunately, just like every other years, it’s only wind and rain.

However, this movie brought enough snow for one evening as we get to spend 95 minutes with four other people during a blizzard, stranded at an isolated highway rest stop in the mountains. One of them is the owner of a van in which is hidden a kidnapped little girl.

Maybe I haven’t watched enough thrillers in my life (I seriously doubt that), but I didn’t predict half of what happens in the movie. We watched it without reading the novel it is based on but I added it to my read list for next year.

The cinematography and score were surprisingly excellent for a low budget B film. All casting and performances were spot-on, especially Havana Rose who nailed the painful scenes and, believe me, there are quiet a few of those.

These are the kind of movies I wish were being made more often. It is relentlessly fast paced and grounded with twists and a solid R rating that they aren’t afraid to use to its full potential.

We had a very good time with ‘No Exit’. It’s our kind of movie and it’s one I would highly recommend.

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