Shady Grove (2022)

For once, the bad reviews were correct. We usually like horror movies that have been massacred by critics, but Shady Grove deserved the low ratings it got by its’ merciless audience.

First of all, the actors looked like they were there against their will. Every line felt weird and awkward, each scene seemed painful, and there was a huge lack of chemistry between the characters.

My overall impression of the movie is that one day somebody had an idea for a story, but had no clue what to do with it. That’s probably why the movie is so disliked, and will, over time, disappear into oblivion. Seriously, I couldn’t even find any interesting facts or trivia, that alone is rare.

It may have been a pathetic attempt in creating a horror film, but it wasn’t bad enough to stop before the end. All the cringy WTF moments are what kept us entertained. While it made us laugh, I would never watch this again, neither recommend it.

Fuck Meta

The tone they use in their emails, amazing!

As if I needed more reasons to stay away from Facebook or Meta or whatever, I now receive emails blackmailing me to create a Meta account if I want to continue using my Oculus VR set.

I wish that I could write a polite post explaining why I won’t do it, but the temptation is too great, I can’t resist, aahhhhh – Zuckerberg can kiss my ass! He and his company can go suck a fuck, I won’t let them make me their bitch!

Apparently, the risk of premature death is higher among individuals with Tourette syndrome (mortality rate ratio, 1.63) according to a study. But, when facing assholes, being vulgar feels so good, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

I’ll probably switch to Valve Index, but I’m still holding back for a wireless version. If the wait gets too long, I’ll eventually cave in and purchase one.

The Night Before

Xmas cheesiness makes me wanna say “fuck” all the time

Let’s eat too much food, stay up late watching movies and enjoy our gifts – I got the feeling that not even Chinese health concerns could keep Santa from getting us what we asked (because we’ve been so fucking nice).

In the unlikely event that someone else would read this post before Christmas is over: we wish you a good one!

Deadstream

We found footage fans are a rare breed. We all fully admit that most of these movies are extremely badly rated and scare off most horror fans. Unlike most movies of this genre, this one is exceptional, different, and fun! The actor (Joseph Winter) who portrays the main character Shawn is also the writer and director of “Deadstream”.

The film centres on a streamer that wants to make his big come back after a long ban from social media by visiting a haunted house. The most scary part of the movie is the beginning, even though I wouldn’t really call it scary since the actor looks like a not-so-serious and likeable dude. The further the story develops, the more gore and the more fun it becomes.

They obviously didn’t use the big CGI galore like most movies nowadays, but went for the puppet / costume option in stead. The movie feels like a modern world concept that adopted the 80’s style horror genre. It reminds me a lot of The Evil Dead in many ways.

A perfect B-movie, fun and entertaining. Highly recommended, even for people who dislike found footage films.

Wednesday

Witness my awesome editing skills!

We had a good time watching Wednesday… Jenna Ortega is great in her role, even if, let’s be honest, the real star of the show is The Thing.

If I can nitpick (again, sorry): Gomez is a bit overacted, Morticia loves life too much, Wednesday isn’t murderous enough and the dance scene is cringe as fuck. However Gwendoline Christie is perfect, as always.

Let’s just say that Wednesday is Tim Burton’s vision of The Addams Family, crossed with Scoobidoo.

Downgrade of the Dragon

House of the Dragon is a great show and we’ve enjoyed watching it in our Christmas-decorated living room.

Unfortunately, we both have been very disappointed by the actor swap after the fifth episode. Replacing Milly Alcock by Emma d’Arcy was the biggest downgrade they could have possibly done. Milly Alcock is atypical and beautiful, she created a real sexual tension between her and Daemon. Emma d’Arcy is common, tasteless and asexual (in the show and in reality).

I’m certain that Milly Alcock could have perfectly portrayed an older Rhaenyra. However, if they absolutely wanted to replace her because of the time jump, they could have casted another actress than Emma d’Arcy, whom I believe was among the worst possible choices.

SPOILER: The actress swap ruined the sex scene on the beach. But, hey, it’s not like we were waiting for it SINCE THE FUCKING FIRST EPISODE!

I also think that Emily Carey shouldn’t have been replaced, she was a better queen Alicent than Olivia Cooke and the difference of age appearance is negligible.

Beside the mid-season casting changes, we love the show and we’re impatiently waiting for the second season (even if it’ll apparently take two years, sigh).

Terrifier

No need to use IMDB for this one: Two sexy girls meet a clown and his bag full of weapons.

We went in blight, with absolutely no idea of what to expect and, oh boy, we haven’t been disappointed. The story is… Well, there isn’t much of a story. However, there is gore. We spent half the movie laughing and the other half with a OMG expression on our faces.

Art makes the clown of IT look like a Disney character. I’m not joking, this is what a creepy clown should look like and this is what horror should be: no psychological plot and that kind of crap… Pure horror with guts, blood and sexy girls.

David Howard Thornton was the 6th person who auditioned for Art The Clown. During the audition he began miming tasting his beheaded victim’s blood but then added salt to it to improve its flavour. This is what won him the role. (IMDB)

This is a return for Art the Clown, as he was previously used by the same director (Damien Leone) in the film “All Hallows Eve”. Also, there’s a Terrifier 2. It feels like an horror fan’s early Christmas gift!

Tis The Season

The best time of the year has officially started. It’s a very busy time for us, we have so many movies and TV shows to watch that, just like last year, we had to create a spreadsheet.

We have built a few new Lego ornaments for our tree and two small trees for our desks. But the greatest new piece is the Christmas train (featured picture). It isn’t complete yet, we’re taking our time, building it while watching the TV Show The Santa Clauses, which is surprisingly good.

We won’t have much time to post in the coming weeks but we’ll try to catch back later. Meanwhile, enjoy the season, get fat, spoil yourselves and have fun.

Sinister 2

After reading the trivia about this movie on IMDb, I was surprised that Sinister 2 was considered a failure. This is the reason why the third movie and the crossover project with Insidious were abandoned. I really don’t have the same taste as these reviewers, I actually loved the sequel as much as the first one.

The Sinister movies are all about the feeling that something evil and disturbing will happen. In my opinion, they succeeded at that. There were more snuff movies involved in the sequel, each very creative in the way they killed their victims. I also think that Bughuul (which means Boogeyman) is as menacing as ever, leaving a feeling of you can run, but you can’t hide.

Nicolas King who plays Bughuul, apparently had Baguul put on his license plate, and had his costume stored in his closet. The guy really lived in the skin of his character. If you think that TV or movies can have an effect on your life, imagine the actors that gave life to a character other than their own person. But, that’s a topic for another blog post.

TLDR; Sinister 2 lived up to my expectations, the unsettling vibe throughout the movie is one of the best ever created. It left me with an eerie feeling of impending doom, and I love that. Maybe I’m not easily afraid due to all the horror I’ve watched in my life, but when a movie gives me the chills, it’s a win.

Hellraiser 2022

A take on Clive Barker’s 1987 horror classic where a young woman struggling with addiction comes into possession of an ancient puzzle box, unaware that its purpose is to summon the Cenobites. (IMDB)

The second movie of our Halloween evening was a blast and probably our favourite of the franchise.

Changing the cenobites to female characters probably made more than a few fans angry but I love it. Jamie Clayton (The Priest) and Selina Lo (The Gasp) managed to breath new life into their characters while remaining twisted and super creepy.

Doug Bradley, who originated the role of the Hell Priest/Lead Cenobite/Pinhead, had this to say about¬†Jamie Clayton’s take in a Twitter post: “I’m a bit blown away by this! The clever re-design of the make-up; the shimmer of the “pin heads”; the palette; whatever that keyhole/locket/tracheotomy thing is at the throat. It’s simple, subtle, disturbing and sexy. Everything it should be.”

The new cenobites aren’t the only change I enjoyed… To be honest, I never really enjoyed the hell dimension and I was very happy to see a Hellraiser movie happening in our reality.

The plot was excellent and managed to keep us on the border of our seat during the entire movie. David Bruckner did a fantastic job bringing an 80s classic to this era.

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