Spacewocket

Cam (2018)

Alice, an ambitious camgirl, wakes up one day to discover she’s been replaced on her show with an exact replica of herself. (source: IMDB)

Not being a great fan of the “streaming generation”, I was afraid to get bored with this movie. Also, I was very prejudiced toward the sexy cam girls and websites like onlyfans.

Watching this movie made me change my mind completely. So, let me be clear: if I was a sexy girl and I would look good on camera, I would be a cam girl!

Clearly, it isn’t as easy as many people think. You have to build a fan base and keep people engaged with your content. You also have to deal with the hate and hypocrisy. But, in the end, you do your own thing, following your own rules. A great Vice documentary to watch after this movie is Making $1.5M/month on OnlyFans and Twitch: Amouranth.

Now, as a 47-year-old happily married dude, I couldn’t possibly imagine sacrificing 10 minutes of my already too busy day to watch a girl riding a banana in an inflatable pool. However, the movie and the documentary opened my eyes on another reality.

Another topic tackled by Cam is the rise of AI in online video content. There is a deleted scene that suggest the mysterious figure that has taken over Alice’s online persona, is in fact an algorithm. Taking over hundreds of hours from Lola’s past videos to create content that would attract abundance of viewers. Hence the AI or the algorithm could produce content without any physical or moral restriction set by Alice.

With the rise of the Metaverse and our future identity being reduced to 3D avatars, will we be so easily replaced by an AI? Sometimes, it makes me wanna live in a cabin in the woods with my wife, befriending grizzlies, at least they are real!

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

A newly possessed high school cheerleader turns into a succubus who specializes in killing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror? (source: IMDB)

I’m not gonna lie, Megan Fox makes the movie. Ok, the plot is great and the filming is very well done, but the real focus is Megan’s body. To prepare for her role as a possessed living-dead teenager, she lost around 7 kg, bringing her weight down to a near-frail 44 kg, and stayed out of the sun. Even Amanda Seyfried admitted in interviews that she really enjoyed her love scene with Megan Fox: “They had an extreme close-up of our tongues, and I’m telling you, the thing about the scene is that it’s actually really sexy.”

The thing with Megan Fox is that she manages to be as sexy as she can be mean. The movie had us wonder if she’s really that nasty or was it just an act?

Anyway, Jennifer’s body was really entertaining, with a very well built tension and a few very sexy scenes.

Freaky (2020)

After swapping bodies with a deranged serial killer, a young girl in high school discovers she has less than 24 hours before the change becomes permanent. (Source: IMDB)

It was fun seeing Vince Vaughn acting like a seventeen-year-old girl… For a while… Thank god that the teen is Kathryn Newton (Paranormal Activity). Would it have been another actress, we probably would have gotten bored.

The movie isn’t bad for a Saturday evening, we even had a good time and a few laughs, but it gets a bit long by the end.

Black Friday

We watched Black Friday on Black Friday and I don’t know what was worse: the movie or the sales day. I don’t care much about the sales day (I avoid it every year). As for the movie, it was bad. 

Just as in Ash vs Evil Dead, Bruce Campbell delivers a demonstration of overacting. The scenario is horrible and lacks pretty much everything that would keep us interested. The special effects of the final scene were laughable and we were so bored that we got restless in the coach. 

I get the whole analogy between customers and zombies, but it was made in the most boring way possible. My final advice: if you see Bruce Campbell in the credits of a movie, don’t watch it!

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

This years’ Halloween headliner was The Conjuring 3. I don’t know if it’s because they start the movie with “based on a true story” and the fact that The Warrens are real, but The Conjuring series are damn frightening! Every time I’ve watched one of these movies, I’m terrified at night, afraid to go to the bathroom and stumble upon something horrific. Of course that never happens, but the movie leaves you with that feeling and that’s exactly why it deserves a 5 star rating.

The duo Patrick Wilson (Ed Warren) and Vera Farmiga (Lorraine Warren) is amazing, they have this chemistry going on that make them the perfect casting. The real Lorraine Warren was a head consultant on all of the Conjuring projects and was an avid follower of the series, she died a natural death a few years ago (age 92). 

During the closing credits, you can hear a news interview with the real Ed & Lorraine Warren from during the trial, along with photos of scenes from the movie and dialog from an audio recording of David Glatzel’s exorcism. This made it even more eerie, and makes me wonder what parts of the movie really happened or is it entirely fiction?

Also, an honourable mention to the Master Satanist, Eugenie Bondurant, her creepy performance is the highlight of the film. I’m surprised that we don’t see her more often in the horror industry.

I know that I keep repeating it a lot, but The Conjuring 3 was scary as hell, perfect for our 2021 Halloween Night. Let’s hope that there are many more to come so our Halloween Eves keep being perfectly frightening as it should be.

Halloween Kills

Halloween wouldn’t be Halloween without Michael Myers’ annual killing spree. We usually watch the original while eating our pumpkin oven pasta, but this year we were in for a treat with the new and gory Halloween Kills.

The opening few minutes were awesome, it had the great vibe of the original and looked very promising. It’s always great to see Jamie Lee Curtis again. Too bad they decided to throw in a never-ending scene with a lynch mob yelling “evil dies tonight” resulting in the suicide of an innocent man. I could have lived without that scene, it was chaotic and way too long to be good. The death count throughout the entire movie was huge though and some of the kills were rather creative and gory, the right recipe for a good slasher. 

I’ve read somewhere that the firefighters appearing in the opening scene are the actual firefighters from Cannon Air Force Base Fire Department. From firefighter to movie star, they must have had a lot of fun shooting this scene.

Maybe the movie wasn’t a milestone in the horror cinema, but it was perfect for setting this years Halloween vibe.

On imdB, they published the following in trivia: Halloween (2018) was released 40 years after Halloween (1978). Halloween Kills (2021) was released 40 years after Halloween II (1981). Halloween Ends (2022) is set to be released 40 years after Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982). This means that next year the 13th Halloween movie will be released. Hopefully it’ll come out before October 31st.

Meanwhile, Happy Halloween!

The Call (2020)

In the fall of 1987, a group of small-town friends must survive the night in the home of a sinister couple after a tragic accident brings them to the couple’s door. (source: IMDB)

A bunch of teens at a street fair in the 80’s, it all started so well… Then begins the revenge game of a couple of old (what are they even?) witches. One slow scene after another, until we became restless in the couch, fighting not to fall asleep. We made it until the end but we won’t make it again, this post will make sure of it.

The Mortuary Collection (2019)

An eccentric mortician recounts several macabre and phantasmagorical tales that he’s encountered in his distinguished career. (Source: IMDB)

There are 2 things that I really enjoyed in The Mortuary Collection: the voice of Clancy Brown and the aesthetics of the movie.

Unfortunately, the stories told by the mortician were too unsurprising. With such a setting, it could have been much better, if only the tales wouldn’t have such a feeling of deja-vu.

Spontaneous (2020)

Imagine this: you’re sitting in a classroom, falling asleep on the monotonous tone of your teacher’s voice when the girl in front of you suddenly explodes, for absolutely no reason. Later, another kid from school follows the same fate, then another and you might be next.

There’s something incredibly creepy in waiting for a death that may or may not come, in an hour or in a day. Ineluctability is one of human’s greatest fear. When each moment might be the last, everything has to happen now, especially love.

We were afraid to watch a modern teen romantic comedy. Fortunately, the movie didn’t become over corny, probably thanks to the excellent performance of Katherine Langford (13 reasons why) who’s mostly portraying very unlucky teens. I wish that she’d never age, so she could save many more teen movies.

Vacancy (2007)

Illustration by Ruth Gwily.

A married couple becomes stranded at an isolated motel and finds hidden video cameras in their room. They soon realise that unless they escape, they’ll be the next victims of a snuff film. (Source: IMDB)

Another underrated gem, perfect for a Saturday evening. The tension is built through the first 20 minutes of the movie and it doesn’t let go until its conclusion. The casting is great. As usual, Kate Beckinsale is fantastic and Frank Whaley plays a really good freak.

The advertising strategy for the film made use of a toll-free phone number. The number was made to sound as if one is actually calling the Pinewood Motel. In the background, screaming can be heard accompanying the voice of the proprietor, who informs callers about “slashing” prices and the “killer” deals that the motel has, if it has a vacancy. (Source: IMDB)

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