After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area’s new razor-toothed residents.

Source: IMDB

So we’ve watched Piranha 3D in 2D because we don’t have a 3D TV (yet), nor do we have 3D glasses (which would be cool, if we had a 3D TV). So if, like me, you’re a sad person who’s looking for the movie in its 2D version, the title is “Piranha”. It’s as simple as that.

Where most Jaws-like movies only tease with a few kills but fail to deliver on any real confrontation, Alexandre Aja created a fantastic gore fest at the beach. I won’t spoil anything by saying that some scenes look as if a giant lawnmower was being used under the water, where hundreds of teens are swimming.

There are few happy surprises in the cast: Elisabeth Shue (as the sheriff), Steve R. McQueen (Jeremy from Vampire Diaries) and Eli Roth.

We went with low expectations but we had a total blast. Now, we’ve read that the sequel is far from being as good… However, we’ll watch it because 1. David Hasselhof plays in it 2. It’s getting warm again and there isn’t much to do with such a heat.

Five college graduates rent a cabin in the woods and begin to fall victim to a horrifying flesh-eating virus, which attracts the unwanted attention of the homicidal locals. (source: IMDB)

I understand the success of Cabin Fever, this is quality old school horror. Eli Roth combined all that we love: the blood, the sex, the naked hot chick, the dumb jock, the cool guy and our beloved rednecks with shotguns. But that’s not all, the movie still manages to put a new spin on things by introducing a flesh-eating virus into the story. Apparently, Eli Roth originally got the idea for this movie while working in Iceland on a horse farm. He got such a bad skin infection from the rotting hay in the barn that his face broke out in sores, bled and peeled off when he shaved.

Not only is the movie great for a Saturday evening but it also defines the quality standard for a good slasher movie. Too bad that the rest of the franchise doesn’t follow the same path. Only the original is directed by Eli Roth, the others only share the title and are total garbage.

For the featured image, I was shared between a picture of Eli Roth and Jordan Ladd together (both also play in Death Proof), or a picture of bikini Jordan Ladd. Why not both?

Also, sentences like “This rifle is for the niggers” or “I shoot squirrels because they’re gay” would probably attract a lot of fire by the nowadays crowd. That makes me love this movie even more because I’m getting sick of the politically correct.