Polaroid

This movie has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I honestly can’t see why. Maybe I have a crappy taste in movies, but Polaroid was, in my opinion, a decent supernatural horror movie.

It was nice to see Mitch Pileggi (X-files) and Grace Zabriskie (Twin Peaks) in a recent release. All these years later Zabriskie still creeps me out with her scary dame look, no one can match her. 

The core of the movie is a string of deaths of young and ridiculously beautiful people (Madelaine Petsch, Keenan Tracey, Priscilla Quintana,…) who can’t avoid their ineluctable faith. I love this kind of subject, especially when they add a few jump scares. Apparently, this is the reason why the movie got flamed by the critics, too cliché. I don’t get it, I love the good old recipe for a horror movie. Young people get in trouble, they get killed by some supernatural being, what’s not to like?

Another thing I like about this movie is the concept of a haunted polaroid camera, get your picture taken and then die. I’ve always loved photography, and the nostalgia around polaroids kicked me in the feels. I know that the concept of haunted pictures has been used in many movies, but so are haunted houses, dolls, etc… what’s the big deal? (directing this question to those damned critics)

According to the trivia on imdB the main actress, Kathryn Prescott (Bird Fitcher) is a professional photographer in real life. Also, the couple Devin (Keenan Tracey) and Mina (Priscilla Quintana) were a real couple for a few years. I know, I know, I’m a sucker for gossip and trivia like this. My husbands’ love for soaps is rubbing off on me, I think.

Anyway, I think that Polaroid is a solid horror movie that kept me entertained until the end. So, do I recommend this? Absolutely! 


M3GAN

A robotics engineer at a toy company has to assume protective custody of her niece after both her parents died in a car crash. Overwhelmed, she uses one of her creations, a life-like doll, to help her in the task. (source: me. It doesn’t happen often but I sometimes write the synopsis myself)

A few reviewers compare the movie to Child’s Play but I disagree. M3GAN has nothing in common with Chucky, she isn’t evil, she’s an android trying to find her place in the world while protecting a little girl who, just like her, doesn’t have parents. To me, she’s more like the creature of Frankenstein, struggling in a world where she wasn’t born, but made.

It’s hard to tell what I enjoyed most in the movie, the ambiance is great, the casting is perfect and the rhythm of the movie is undisturbed by lengthy dramatic scenes. The result is a movie that may not entirely belong in the horror category, but that’s very entertaining nonetheless.

I couldn’t help but wonder, at the dawn of AI, if I’ll live long enough to see humans being helped in their households by autonomous androids… How will we integrate them in our society, like beings or like equipment?


Don’t Breathe 2

Hiding out for years in an isolated cabin, Norman Nordstrom has taken in and raised a young girl orphaned from a house fire. Their quiet existence is shattered when a group of kidnappers show up and take the girl, forcing Norman to leave his safe haven to save her. (IMDB)

The synopsis above could have been shorter: he’s blind, he’s a badass and they took his girl. 

I don’t think that the plot is really what matters in this kind of movies. All it takes is building enough rage in the public during the first phase of the movie, generally through injustice and heinous crimes. So, when the second phase finally comes, we welcome the bloody revenge. Don’t Breathe 2 delivers in both phases, and it feels really good when The Blind Man finally gets his turn.

Unlike the first movie, this sequel is definitely more about rescue and revenge than it is a real thriller. However Stephen Lang manages to show not only good action, but also some emotion.

Even if it is a bit less deep than the original, Don’t Breathe 2 is a good action movie with enough gore and brutality to fit a Saturday horror night.


Truth or Dare (2018)

A harmless game of Truth or Dare among friends turns deadly when someone – or something – begins to punish those who tell a lie or refuse the dare. (IMDB)

Once again, I don’t understand the bad critics. What did people expect? A slow movie with an hasbeen actress like Naomi Watts crying for hours because she’s tied up on a coach? A pretentious horror that ends up with a final battle staged like a musical? Don’t we have enough “critics” ass-licking movies already?

I love Blumhouse because they deliver exactly what I’m after: quality movies that don’t pretend to be more than what they are: good horror flicks for the Saturday night. Truth or Dare is a good movie with a good pitch and a solid casting. We were especially happy to see Tyler Posey again, since we haven’t seen much of him since Teen Wolf.

Just as in It Follows, ineluctability is the true evil. How you die doesn’t matter, what’s horrible is to know that it’s coming for you and that, no matter what, your turn is coming. Of course, people try to out run their cruel fate and that’s the best part of it, to see them try to survive like ants caught in a flood. So, run, cute teenagers and entertain us!


Hellfest (2018)

A masked serial killer turns a horror-themed amusement park into his own personal playground, terrorizing a group of friends while the rest of the patrons believe that it is all part of the show. (IMDB)

Couldn’t I write such a basic synopsis myself? Yes

Am I too lazy to do it? Yes

Is the movie related to the yearly Metal festival? No

Do we love Metal? Yes, enough with the questions! (who even asks questions to himself?)

We watched it on November 14th and I can’t remember much of it but it doesn’t matter because the story isn’t the strong point of a slasher movie (kids get scarred by a creepy killer, kids run and yell, kids die), what matters is the atmosphere and Hellfest has it right.

Two of the biggest deal breakers were avoided: the rhythm wasn’t slowed down by unnecessary drama and it wasn’t a psychological movie disguised as an horror flick.

Ok, just one last question: will I make an effort and try to post sooner, so I don’t forget half of the movie when I’m writing about it? Yes, I promise.


Summer of 84

After suspecting that their police officer neighbor is a serial killer, a group of teenage friends spend their summer spying on him and gathering evidence, but as they get closer to discovering the truth, things get dangerous. (IMDB)

There’s a reference to the eighties in the title? It’s an horror movie about kids investigating a murder? We don’t need much more to get hyped because both of us have grown up with movies like The Goonies and Stand by Me and nothing scratches that itch better than that new wave of retro everything that’s washing over us lately.

I don’t wanna start another trial of the modern days, but you must admit that the 80s and the 90s were two amazing decades ruled by creativity and freedom. A freedom that nowadays kids don’t even suspect could exist. But, that’s right, kids these days have so much more, right?! I easily forget the smartphones that keep you connected to your parents everywhere you go, fast food cinema like Marvel and triple A games that are super expensive and super boring (I’m not even a boomer, I’m Gen X). But I digress…

So, the setting is right but how’s the rest of the movie? Well, it’s fucking awesome! The cast is great, the vibe is perfect and the suspense kept us on the border of our seat the entire movie. Special thumbs up to Tiera Skovbye, who also plays the sister of Betty in Riverdale.

Even the poster art is awesome:

Something I really enjoy to do when I write these posts is reading trivias. So here are two good ones from on IMDB:

Cruel Summer by Bananarama plays while they are riding their BMXs. Exactly the same positioning in the Karate Kid with Daniel LaRusso riding his BMX to the same track. A cool nod considering it was released in the Summer of 84.

When the boys are in the clubhouse talking about Nikki, Tommy is seen drinking a bottle of MacReady’s Whiskey. This is a nod to The Thing (1982) where Kurt Russell’s character, R.J. MacReady, drinks J&B Scotch Whiskey at different points in the movie.

Voilà, so if, like us, you love eighties and movies like The Goonies, go watch it. Now!


Shady Grove (2022)

For once, the bad reviews were correct. We usually like horror movies that have been massacred by critics, but Shady Grove deserved the low ratings it got by its’ merciless audience.

First of all, the actors looked like they were there against their will. Every line felt weird and awkward, each scene seemed painful, and there was a huge lack of chemistry between the characters. 

My overall impression of the movie is that one day somebody had an idea for a story, but had no clue what to do with it. That’s probably why the movie is so disliked, and will, over time, disappear into oblivion. Seriously, I couldn’t even find any interesting facts or trivia, that alone is rare.

It may have been a pathetic attempt in creating a horror film, but it wasn’t bad enough to stop before the end. All the cringy WTF moments are what kept us entertained. While it made us laugh, I would never watch this again, neither recommend it.


Deadstream

We found footage fans are a rare breed. We all fully admit that most of these movies are extremely badly rated and scare off most horror fans. Unlike most movies of this genre, this one is exceptional, different, and fun! The actor (Joseph Winter) who portrays the main character Shawn is also the writer and director of “Deadstream”.

The film centres on a streamer that wants to make his big come back after a long ban from social media by visiting a haunted house. The most scary part of the movie is the beginning, even though I wouldn’t really call it scary since the actor looks like a not-so-serious and likeable dude. The further the story develops, the more gore and the more fun it becomes. 

They obviously didn’t use the big CGI galore like most movies nowadays, but went for the puppet / costume option in stead. The movie feels like a modern world concept that adopted the 80’s style horror genre. It reminds me a lot of The Evil Dead in many ways. 

A perfect B-movie, fun and entertaining. Highly recommended, even for people who dislike found footage films.


Terrifier

No need to use IMDB for this one: Two sexy girls meet a clown and his bag full of weapons.

We went in blight, with absolutely no idea of what to expect and, oh boy, we haven’t been disappointed. The story is… Well, there isn’t much of a story. However, there is gore. We spent half the movie laughing and the other half with a OMG expression on our faces.

Art makes the clown of IT look like a Disney character. I’m not joking, this is what a creepy clown should look like and this is what horror should be: no psychological plot and that kind of crap… Pure horror with guts, blood and sexy girls.

David Howard Thornton was the 6th person who auditioned for Art The Clown. During the audition he began miming tasting his beheaded victim’s blood but then added salt to it to improve its flavour. This is what won him the role. (IMDB)

This is a return for Art the Clown, as he was previously used by the same director (Damien Leone) in the film “All Hallows Eve”. Also, there’s a Terrifier 2. It feels like an horror fan’s early Christmas gift!


Sinister 2

After reading the trivia about this movie on IMDb, I was surprised that Sinister 2 was considered a failure. This is the reason why the third movie and the crossover project with Insidious were abandoned. I really don’t have the same taste as these reviewers, I actually loved the sequel as much as the first one.

The Sinister movies are all about the feeling that something evil and disturbing will happen. In my opinion, they succeeded at that. There were more snuff movies involved in the sequel, each very creative in the way they killed their victims. I also think that Bughuul (which means Boogeyman) is as menacing as ever, leaving a feeling of you can run, but you can’t hide.

Nicolas King who plays Bughuul, apparently had Baguul put on his license plate, and had his costume stored in his closet. The guy really lived in the skin of his character. If you think that TV or movies can have an effect on your life, imagine the actors that gave life to a character other than their own person. But, that’s a topic for another blog post.

TLDR; Sinister 2 lived up to my expectations, the unsettling vibe throughout the movie is one of the best ever created. It left me with an eerie feeling of impending doom, and I love that. Maybe I’m not easily afraid due to all the horror I’ve watched in my life, but when a movie gives me the chills, it’s a win.


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