It was a beautiful autumn morning. I was crossing Elwynn forest to
gank low levels try my new chopper. Everything was back to normal, Garrosh was about to be sentenced for the crimes he had committed, the inns were full of rumors about everything and nothing and I was wonderful again, riding my bike like the awesome wild Orc that I am.
I had heard a disturbing story at the tavern last night, while I was
getting tanked on cheap ale eating but I didn’t pay much attention. It is said that some human mage is wandering the forest, ambushing males of all races and taking advantage of them. But you know how drunken folks are, they would tell the most bizarre stories just to get some attention.
Awesome the way I am, I really wouldn’t need to get caught by some crazy lady just to get laid. After all, they don’t call me “the sexiest Orc in Azeroth” for nothing. I just happen to be a bit in a low point at the moment. Nothing to worry about.
Anyway, there I was, riding in Elwynn forest when suddenly, she appeared. I couldn’t believe my eyes, it was her, the lady mage. Not any lady mage, it was Jaina Proudmoore!
Before I could realize what was happening, she had already casted a frost bolt at my engine. My hog was frozen on spot, I couldn’t escape. All I could do was looking at her, walking in my direction, with fire in her eyes.
Not that I’d ever be scared of a lady… Only this one isn’t an ordinary lady. You see, since Garrosh has dropped a bomb on her home town, people say that she has gone bamboozle. No wonder that if she could put her hands on such an awesome specimen as myself, she would get even more crazy and who knows what she’d do to my body.
I couldn’t let that happen, I had to try something. I threw a frost trap on her path. All hypnotized by my sex-appeal that she was, she didn’t seem to notice it, she walked right on it. Even if it didn’t have much effect on her, it was enough to break her focus, giving me the time to jump off my chopper and cast my camel. I rode as if Ragnaros himself was after me, I didn’t look back.
It took me several
kegs days to recuperate. Even weeks later, she still haunts my nights.
So, no matter how
desperate fearless you are, if you value your dignity, stay away from Elwynn Forest for it is haunted by a once proud woman, turned into a psychopathic nymphomaniac.