13 Sins

A cryptic phone call sets off a dangerous game of risks for Elliot, a down-on-his-luck salesman. The game promises increasing rewards for completing 13 tasks, each more sinister than the last – IMDb

The only reason I’m mentioning 13 Sins is to remember not to watch it again. The only terrifying thing about this movie would be to forget about it, and then end up watching it again some day. The beginning may have looked promising, but it became tedious before the middle and ended up in a boring snore fest. It had absolutely nothing likeable, not even one character.

TLDR: this movie is a 1h 33m waste of time, not worth it!

You’re Killing Me

A student desperately hoping to get a letter of recommendation to an elite university from the wealthy parents of her classmate, invites herself to his ‘Heaven and Hell’ party which turns into a nightmare.

When it comes to movies where teenagers go on a rampage and start slaughtering one and other, I’m all in. While the movie was entertaining enough, all I could say to describe it is “meh”.

I understand that the main character, Eden, was quite desperate to get a letter of recommendation, but she was pestering her classmate so much, it was cringe. The characters were unlikable, there wasn’t one I wished would be the final girl. Not to mention the bad writing, I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes throughout the entire movie. At least it only lasted 1h 34m, and with the action packed scenes, it remained entertaining enough to keep me awake.

Would I recommend this movie? Sure, I’d still give it a shot (just don’t expect too much), but I would never re-watch it.

Tales in a Jugular Vein

Principal Featherhead takes aim at the negative influence comic books have over kids, just as Jughead is tasked by Pep Comics to write four tales for a new issue – IMDb

Episode 5 of Riverdales’ seventh season was my favourite so far. I always loved the series, but watching four comic book inspired horror tales that take place in Riverdale with the usual cast was new and refreshing for this show. Granted, it always had a bit of a horror and comic book vibe, but this one took it a step further.

You get thrown back in time, the 1950’s, when the violent and sexual content in comic books caused an uproar which led to the creation of The Comics Code Authority to censor comics. A real life event portrayed in the TV-show. I remember, as a little girl, stumbling upon boxes filled with my uncles’ horror comics from the 50’s era in my grandmothers’ attic. People thought I had disappeared while I was just sitting on the attic floor, devouring one book after another. My mum didn’t approve, and like all that is forbidden, it’s what you want the most. Needless to say that horror comics were the most popular at that time.

Watching these four tales in a candlelit room while rain was tapping on the window, gave me serious Halloween vibes. Only things missing were the jack o’ lanterns and our traditional pumpkin oven pasta. Hopefully there will be some more episodes of this quality, even though this is the last and final season of Archie and his gang.

All Hallow’s Eve (2013)

The All Hallow’s Eve series introduce the psychotic ART the clown from the Terrifier movies. Being a fan of the Terrifier franchise, I had high hopes for All Hallow’s Eve. Truth be told, it was very bad. I don’t mind amateurism in horror, I think that sometimes it adds to the vibe of the movie (especially in the found footage genre), but amateurism apart, it is unwatchable. Slasher movies rarely make me nod off, but this one was a 83 minute long battle against sleep.

While some actors did a better job, others had the charisma of a wood stick. Not one you could take a liking to. The storyline is a big bag of “I don’t know where I’m going with this”. I’ve read on IMDb that “the alien in the second story was originally going to be a puppet, but when the puppet didn’t work, it was replaced by a man in a suit instead”. I can tell you, it looked like a dude in a very poor quality Halloween costume. For a slasher this is pretty bad.

I will not watch the other two All Hallow’s Eve movies, and most certainly not recommend watching this to anyone.

Totally Killer

If you’re looking for a serious horror movie, you’re in the wrong place. Totally Killer is a Halloween meets Back to the Future slasher comedy starring Kiernan Shipka (Jamie), who travels back to the 80’s in a home-made time travel machine, determined to stop the “Sweet Sixteen Killer” before his first kill.

While watching the movie, you see the big difference between generations. It’s funny to see a Gen Z’s reaction when catapulted to the 80’s. Even though, I think it must be more funny in real than in the movie. Most of the new generation would be completely lost in pre smartphone times. If we wanted to do any research in the 80’s and 90’s, we had to go to the library. If we needed to call some one, it was a fixed phone or bust. We didn’t spend all of our time with our nose in a screen, we were hanging out with friends in stead. Life and technology have changed drastically since the 80’s, but I’m not going to start a rant about that cause I’ll end up writing a book.

For those who have lived the 80’s, don’t expect a historically accurate movie. It’s a mindless slasher comedy full of anachronisms:

  • Several Game Boy games can be seen when Jamie enters the van of Lurch. The movie takes place in October 1987 but the Game Boy was released in July 1989.
  • Billy’s amusement park has a drop tower ride in several scenes. The first drop tower ride was commissioned in 1996, nearly ten years after the movie is set.

The costume designer, Patricia J. Henderson, was spot-on. I wonder how much time she’s spent in thrift shops, unless she made everything herself (which I doubt). Either way, she did her homework!

TLDR; Totally Killer is a fun movie for a Saturday horror night. As long as you don’t expect an award winning masterpiece, you’ll have a good time.

Trick or Treat 1986

Our annual Halloween tradition is to decorate the apartment with Jack-o’-lanterns, eat pumpkin oven pasta and watch horror movies. This years’ movie line-up was supposed to be Insidious: The Red Door and The Pope’s Exorcist. We changed this last minute to watch the heavily advertised Trick or Treat 1986 on Bloody Disgusting.

A bullied teenage boy is devastated after the death of his heavy metal idol, Sammi Curr. But as Halloween night approaches, he discovers that he may be the only one who can stop Sammi from making a Satanic comeback from beyond the grave. – IMDb

If you like the 80’s, heavy metal, old cassettes,… this movie is an absolute gem. I can’t believe – with all the horror I’ve watched and music I’ve listened to – I’ve never heard about it before.

Both Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne appear in the movie. Simmons was offered the role of Sammi Curr, but he opted the cameo role of Eddie’s friend, rock DJ Nuke, instead. He claimed that he did this as a tribute to famous rock DJ Wolfman Jack, his childhood idol. Osbourne, however, has two scenes as a conservative preacher denouncing rock/metal. It made me laugh that of all people, Ozzy was the one doing these scenes. The irony!

I have to admit that if Sammi Curr (portrayed by Tony Fields) would have been real, I would have been a great fan. The song Trick or Treat by Fastway is a hit, I’ve instantly added it to my playlist. It’s weird to discover “new” things of the 80’s in 2023 while I grew up in that era. Too bad Fastway didn’t release more albums than the OST for Trick or Treat, I would have loved their music.

Such a great discovery! Thanks to Sardoken for checking Bloody Disgusting while I was preparing the pasta. A perfect Halloween themed movie for all the metal heads out there!

Fall

A girl drags her best friend on a daring climbing adventure to the top of a 2000-foot abandoned and weather-beaten TV tower. Of course, everything goes wrong; the film would be boring if it didn’t.

We kept postponing watching this movie for some reason, but now I’m glad we finally did. There are so few characters involved, and yet there’s so much character development. The acting was top-notch; you really felt for the girls—the anxiety, pain… even the jelly legs you get from vertigo at great heights. I felt uncomfortable in my seat throughout many scenes. I know it sounds weird coming from someone who used to go bungee jumping, but I have severe vertigo.

I’ve read on IMDb that the filmmakers had considered green screen or digital sets, but ultimately opted for the real thing. They decided to build the upper portion of the tower on top of a mountain so that the actors would genuinely appear to be thousands of feet in the air, even though in real life they were never more than 100 feet off the ground. I think this was an amazing idea, but as an actor, you must have no fear. Apparently, the two lead actresses did most of their own stunts. Respect!

During many scenes, I kept thinking that these girls are so irresponsible and badly prepared for such an adventure, but then I remembered my younger self—I was no better.

When I was 19, my mom had an accident and ended up in the hospital. At the moment of the accident, I was at school, so it was hardly my fault. Yet, I caught hell for it. I know, I grew up in a house of horrors. Instead of feeling victimized, I got super angry, wrote a “fuck you” letter to my mom, grabbed my two best friends, and hopped on a bus to Grenoble (France) to jump off a bridge. I had no luggage, barely any money; I even forgot my ID. In all my rage, I left all responsibility and, most of all, my crappy family behind.

Was that mature? Probably not, but I had the time of my life with some good friends—something they can’t take away from me. Besides, the jump and the huge climb back up went perfectly. I’ll always keep a good remembrance. Unlike those poor girls in the movie, I wouldn’t have climbed that rust bucket to begin with.

Personal adventures set aside, I loved this movie more than I thought I would. To end with a quote from the movie:

“Life is fleeting. Life is short, too short. So you gotta use every moment. You have to do something that makes you feel alive, and that shit would spread that message far and wide.” – Becky (Fall).

Renfield

Don’t expect an Oscar winning masterpiece when you watch “Renfield”, it’s a chaotic fun with buckets of blood and lots of violence kind of movie. Both Nicholas Cage as Dracula and Nicholas Hoult as Renfield are superb with excellent acting and a dynamic master – servant relationship.

Cage is one of my favourite actors, despite his history of turning down non-leading roles in studio films, he signed on to play Dracula. It was a life-long dream of his to portray the legendary figure. He even had his teeth filed down in order to have a more natural-looking fit and better enunciation while wearing his Dracula prosthetics. The movie industry can be such a strange world.

When I read that “Renfield” is categorised as a comedy horror, I was afraid it would be another heavy movie with tedious jokes. I was wrong, the slapstick humour and over the top action stunts make this movie a joy to watch. It also seems like there’s a big come back to “gore” in movies lately, the ripping of body parts, dismemberment, tons and tons of blood… Definitely a must watch for fans of the genre, I love this stuff.

I’ve always been a sucker for aesthetics, Dracula’s lair for example was amazing. It was shot in the abandoned Charity Hospital in New Orleans. I don’t know how many blood bags have been used to create this scene, but I did read that to the left of his chair, there’s a pile of 75 semi-fresh bodies. There’s a room at the back with at least 150 fully decomposed bodies, and there’s a blood smear where Renfield had to drag them across the floor. A lot of work and creativity went into this, some people have such awesome jobs.

If you don’t go in with too many expectations, this movie is definitely a good choice for a fun popcorn evening.

Polaroid

This movie has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I honestly can’t see why. Maybe I have a crappy taste in movies, but Polaroid was, in my opinion, a decent supernatural horror movie.

It was nice to see Mitch Pileggi (X-files) and Grace Zabriskie (Twin Peaks) in a recent release. All these years later Zabriskie still creeps me out with her scary dame look, no one can match her. 

The core of the movie is a string of deaths of young and ridiculously beautiful people (Madelaine Petsch, Keenan Tracey, Priscilla Quintana,…) who can’t avoid their ineluctable faith. I love this kind of subject, especially when they add a few jump scares. Apparently, this is the reason why the movie got flamed by the critics, too cliché. I don’t get it, I love the good old recipe for a horror movie. Young people get in trouble, they get killed by some supernatural being, what’s not to like?

Another thing I like about this movie is the concept of a haunted polaroid camera, get your picture taken and then die. I’ve always loved photography, and the nostalgia around polaroids kicked me in the feels. I know that the concept of haunted pictures has been used in many movies, but so are haunted houses, dolls, etc… what’s the big deal? (directing this question to those damned critics)

According to the trivia on imdB the main actress, Kathryn Prescott (Bird Fitcher) is a professional photographer in real life. Also, the couple Devin (Keenan Tracey) and Mina (Priscilla Quintana) were a real couple for a few years. I know, I know, I’m a sucker for gossip and trivia like this. My husbands’ love for soaps is rubbing off on me, I think.

Anyway, I think that Polaroid is a solid horror movie that kept me entertained until the end. So, do I recommend this? Absolutely! 

Shady Grove (2022)

For once, the bad reviews were correct. We usually like horror movies that have been massacred by critics, but Shady Grove deserved the low ratings it got by its’ merciless audience.

First of all, the actors looked like they were there against their will. Every line felt weird and awkward, each scene seemed painful, and there was a huge lack of chemistry between the characters. 

My overall impression of the movie is that one day somebody had an idea for a story, but had no clue what to do with it. That’s probably why the movie is so disliked, and will, over time, disappear into oblivion. Seriously, I couldn’t even find any interesting facts or trivia, that alone is rare.

It may have been a pathetic attempt in creating a horror film, but it wasn’t bad enough to stop before the end. All the cringy WTF moments are what kept us entertained. While it made us laugh, I would never watch this again, neither recommend it.

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